i want to pee.. badly

today is the first time i've ever blogged from my b-i-l's office.

on the side note: i've been peeing alot lately, is that a good thing? i pee-put more then i input. seriously.

wendy and stephen are still not in the office and its (time check) 1:09pm already. last i heard, stephen called the office at 12-ish from home. currently, the office contains me and stephen's mom.

talk about awkward.

on the main note: im still not im my work mode yet. i haven't found the right job i want to get it on with. is that a good thing or a bad thing?

anyway, i will be doing pet-sitting this month. i will be petsitting at michelle's home for the 2 cats she has while she is overseas for bout 2 week plus.

here are the pets to be sitted:

(black cat: xena / white cat: paris)

i will have to visit them from the 20th to the 4th of april. to feed/clean/play them, twice each day, morning and night. i love these girls. so fat and flabby.

i don't feeding them and stuff, but its so far from home. clementi. that would mean i have to stay with wendy's during this period. or maybe i try to not stay at her place for the first week and see if i am able to manage the travelling.

to airport to airport in hopes of buying a ticket

i'm now at the airport now sending a worker back. she seems to be surrounded by her colleagues, a bunch of 3 of prc. always being here at the airport picking up workers, sending workers off, oh how i wish I got an air ticket out of here.

i'm not being non-patriotic but its just that i don't see myself having a future here in mini smallville. the only reason worth of my staying are: family, friends and gary.

i just need a little help in that department to get out of this town.

march of march

i keep telling myself to go blog, or to remember to blog this incident, but now that i am on the blog, i have no idea what i am to blog. what freak shit is this. come on, think!

lemme think while i put on my face mask pack from korea.. ooo.. cold..

fyi: cindy went to korea for 1.5 weeks with LC. since korea is the land of beauty products, i told cin to get me face mask or what not. great, finally she listened to my requests.

the month of feb was pretty fun, 'cos jo was back for her horlees. fun times they were. i tried the reverse bungee, was scary/fun/painful. i got a bruise from it. feb we ate and be merry and laughs. feb was fun. and surprisingly short. i guess when you are having fun, time becomes shorter. and maybe cos there were chinese new year, so the days got shorter. and that feb there is only 28 days.. maybe..

the month of march just begun and i haven't really been doing anything, 'cos afterall most of the fun stuff i did it with jo already. so march is really blah. it was fun when i helped mj in her fyp, miss the school days kinda. maybe i should be a lecturer haha.

i've been job hunting, at a very picky standard. in the past, any tom, dick and harry job that were posted, i would send in my cv. now i'm just strumming my way, sifting through the options available and only release my cv to the anointed one. is this the right way? i really need to find a better paying job though. the current one sux.

i mean, i think i've gotten lazy and motivation level isn't recharged yet. i seem to be putting everything a stop for this NTU thing. and i have a feeling i won't get it. and my 'feelings' are always right. but i also have a slight feeling i would.. oh man.. oh god..

school

i've been thinking real hard and i've decided. i am not going to take up the Lasalle's offer letter.

17.5K per year is not a small sum and i am not going to risk that amount for 3 years on an education that couldn't really guarantee me a future. i am still very much into the whole school situation but not with lasalle i suppose. 53K is too big a sum.

i've decided. i will still apply for ntu. if they accept me, hooray for me ('cos partly because its cpf subsidised) and if they don't, i will have to continue my meager, low life.

dad is repeating the whole "get a clerical job" thing again. and he wants me to borrow from his brother. no and never will i beg for money. i never and will never ever borrow money from family, more or less, even from his side of the family. i sort of knew he was going to say all this anyway. anyway - over my dead decomposing body.

so now im betting my horses on ntu. i will have to leave it to faith and compassion.

my family hasn't known of this decision yet, maybe cos i can't talk to them. i can't get my side of the info into any immediate family member it seems. my voice is prolly too high a frequency that only dogs could understand.

up till now, cindy and dad knows i am going to the bank to get a loan. with lasalle, i will definitely need a loan. but it is a loan too huge for me to return. with ntu, i prolly still need a loan, but that will be mostly on allowances and miscellaneous cost like tuition grant and exams and materials. ntu's fees comes from cpf.

but there is a risk on betting ntu. i haven't met any designer i know that had even step into ntu. is it really that hard? why so difficult? because of this imminent difficulty getting into ntu, i would say i am slightly prepared of the rejection ntu may offer to me. of course, i still look forward to that flickering wavering glimmer of positive light that will have me embarking on my dream journey. i could only gasp and hope for the best and not slip into depression if ever a depressing note was told unto me.

i know dad has his reasons on this objection to me furthering my education. he is afterall going to retire the end of the year and that means no more financial stability. from his point of view, he can no longer support me financially if i were ever going to study. i know that of course, i haven't been living off them for since i started work, till even now. everything i own and eat and even bathe in, are out of my own pocket. and of course i thought of this. i will be taking part time jobs or freelance work or anything to feed myself.

with me studying, that would mean that i can't be helping out in the family finance side. and i think that worries my mom as she has been too accustom to me giving her allowances every month.