school

i've been thinking real hard and i've decided. i am not going to take up the Lasalle's offer letter.

17.5K per year is not a small sum and i am not going to risk that amount for 3 years on an education that couldn't really guarantee me a future. i am still very much into the whole school situation but not with lasalle i suppose. 53K is too big a sum.

i've decided. i will still apply for ntu. if they accept me, hooray for me ('cos partly because its cpf subsidised) and if they don't, i will have to continue my meager, low life.

dad is repeating the whole "get a clerical job" thing again. and he wants me to borrow from his brother. no and never will i beg for money. i never and will never ever borrow money from family, more or less, even from his side of the family. i sort of knew he was going to say all this anyway. anyway - over my dead decomposing body.

so now im betting my horses on ntu. i will have to leave it to faith and compassion.

my family hasn't known of this decision yet, maybe cos i can't talk to them. i can't get my side of the info into any immediate family member it seems. my voice is prolly too high a frequency that only dogs could understand.

up till now, cindy and dad knows i am going to the bank to get a loan. with lasalle, i will definitely need a loan. but it is a loan too huge for me to return. with ntu, i prolly still need a loan, but that will be mostly on allowances and miscellaneous cost like tuition grant and exams and materials. ntu's fees comes from cpf.

but there is a risk on betting ntu. i haven't met any designer i know that had even step into ntu. is it really that hard? why so difficult? because of this imminent difficulty getting into ntu, i would say i am slightly prepared of the rejection ntu may offer to me. of course, i still look forward to that flickering wavering glimmer of positive light that will have me embarking on my dream journey. i could only gasp and hope for the best and not slip into depression if ever a depressing note was told unto me.

i know dad has his reasons on this objection to me furthering my education. he is afterall going to retire the end of the year and that means no more financial stability. from his point of view, he can no longer support me financially if i were ever going to study. i know that of course, i haven't been living off them for since i started work, till even now. everything i own and eat and even bathe in, are out of my own pocket. and of course i thought of this. i will be taking part time jobs or freelance work or anything to feed myself.

with me studying, that would mean that i can't be helping out in the family finance side. and i think that worries my mom as she has been too accustom to me giving her allowances every month.

my face is rotting away.. omg..

its been a fairly long time since i blogged. and usually when i blog, i'm most probably jobless or bored.. this time round, i could say i am not tied to any jobs right now. haha. yes, i'm not attached to any attachements.

i'm having a crazy break out. omg, my face is rotting away. why oh why oh why. is this karma? for all the time i pinpoint and laugh at other people's zits? dear lord, could you zap these zits away? its much easier then having to part the red sea or even create a massive flood on mankind.. i must find something to blame these zits on.. must be the prawns!

about the prawns:
Amin, MJ, Jo and i went to prawning last saturday. sort of a commemoration on the arrival of Jo back to singapore. haha. brought them to this new prawning place at guilemard road, old badminton club. Amin, Jo and i reached the place first, so we started with a 3hr package deal, $30 for 3 hr is pretty fair. MJ joined us on the last hour.

i was pretty lucky, not so for Jo and MJ. i manage to get 8 prawns for 3 hours, which based on professional standards, its not really an achievement. hahaha. Amin got 2 crabs from the crabbing pond. well, actually he caught 1, the other was given to him by an uncle.

jo made friends with an uncle aka stanley aka BROTHER (haha), and he gave us a bag of prawns.. literally a bag.. i bet there is like 3kg. in total, its like almost 30 prawns and 2 crabs.. we ate it for dinner, by which its already 10pm. Jo mentioned that 'cos the prawns are fresh water prawns, it gives us zits easily, apparently 'cos they aren't clean. i thought that wouldn't be true, considering fresh water is much cleaner then sea water right? lo and behold, my face is rotting away slowly like i'm strucked by some flesh eating disease. there's a huge zit on the left side of my forehead, which is giving me a headache.

today i went to tp for a tad while to reprint my transcripts. freaking bull, to reprint i have to pay $10.20 and i still have to wait like 5 days for it. bull ok. i just hop friday's interview with lasalle, don't require my transcripts. i don't get it, why does it have to take 5 days to print 2 pieces of paper?? goddamnasshead.

after settling my transcripts i went to IRIS to visit alicia and amin. amin was kinda busy so i talked to alicia for the while. she said my eyes are puffy.. oh my god.. realllllly? (looks at mirror) i think its true, i got these tiny eye bags under my eyes. more like wrinkled bags.. freakazoid.

i don't intend to stay long at wendy's (not the restaurant, but my sister's). i am gonna find a job when january ends. i could do my ntu applications first before i leave my sister's. i'm sorry but i know wendy's pregnant and all, but its really too tiring for me to do the runner job.

Runner Job:
a runner is a person who does errands on the run, therefore is always outstationed. job scope includes running errands, buying lunch, going all the way to PSA @ Tanjong Pagar Plaza to settle foreign workers work permits, shuttling foreign workers to set up bank accounts to and fro their work place, collection of documents from all spots of singapore... by bus.

mj knows i swear by taxi. so taking a bus is like a bird getting strike by lightning, which means its totally RARE. sheesh.. i hate talking to these foreign workers..

me: you take number ok?
them: number? #@#!$@#$ ?
me: huh? no, just take. hold paper. ok, queue up. follow worker. (points to the snake line of foreign workers)
them: *nods* #$@#$@#
me: huh? ah nevermind.

them: *walks back to me* @#!@#!@$#!$#%$
me: huh?
them: *hands paper to me*
me: oh. ok.

me: (when they settled their thumbprint thing) you know how to go back?
one of them: yes
rest of them: $@#$@#$ *whispers* no
me: ok you (points to confident one) go. you 2, follow.

i hate it that i have to sometimes settle the indian workers. i hate it 'cos out of the masses of indians at the place where they make their work permits, i CAN'T differentiate the indian from another indian. i nearly shouted at one stranger to stop him from walking away with his passport and stuff (i had to keep them with the company first before returning to them, for fear they would run away with their passport.. thus illegal immigrants) because i thought he was MY foreign worker. i was staring at him to try to process his image, to see if his profile fits the profile i am looking for, and he stared back.. and you know how indians have large yellow eyes.. freak. lucky the right one came to me just in time the jaundiced indian came to me.

its been such a long time since i've blog. kind of miss the feeling of blogging.

just so you know, i've started work for almost 3 weeks now, as a temp design staff at my beloved old school.

working alongside me (who came in the same time as me) is Sharon. she's kind of crazy so yeah.

my mom came back from Perth (for 5 days) just last thursday. i could tell she really hated the time she spent in Perth. haha. she said she suffered over there and wouldn't want to return to that place. i asked her where she went, she said they didn't move out of their house (my aunt's house) and stayed home all the while. o..k.. i went to more places than mom did, and my aunt stayed longer then my friend did.

i told my mom to get me some stuff, and she only returns with 1 item. the cat's bed. technically, the beds are for the cats, so i didn't got anything from Perth. ahhh... whatever.

ahh..

it's been a long while since i touch my blog.. ahh..

anyway, my life's been too boring to report anything on the blog. plus, i just started work, therefore.. you know.. very "busy"